Kerbau

My mother asked me, what do you want from Saudi? Since she has lots to offer these days. I remember when I was at the hostel, and wanting to go down town after church. I checked the ATM machine and it was empty. I guess there was no more money at the moment. I was very hungry then suddenly a friend said, what ya wanna eat? Without shyness in my brows, well anything. So she bought me a burger. And then, while frumming on it greedily, she said Alhamdullilah kerana kamu saya kenyang (Praise be to God, for you I am fulfilled). She was very kind and got to me right when I need her. I thought to myself, when will this ordeal ever happen again?

 I have full aspirations on my mother. Maybe I can write a book about her. But my time with her is not fulfilled. I always wanted to be on her side, to play with her. It suddenly strikes to me how I want to braid her hair. But I knew she was as happy as she was, with her work that gives her pride. She's a nurse and there was one time that a labourer had no money and they seek help from her. She was a certified mid-wife and so she delivered his baby. She knew no borders. Just like the orangutans that rummage in these forests, they don't know whether it's cocoa, oil palm or langsat. They just go in. They knew nothing about political boundary. It is their home. It is with this hope and aspiration, someday that a person might say this is where I belong..

I wrote a poem for my mother.. I couldn't remember what it was. I gave it to Mandy. She wanted it soo much. I was sitting near the door where it opens up to a view of the Kerabau and egrets. They looked so peaceful there with the marshes and soggy soil. They belong there. It suddenly occured to me how my mother protects me like how these creatures interact. They need one another. And they co-exist beautifully.

Sometimes I asked myself, what do I mean to my mother? A mother never leaves you. My mother went to Saudi to find money. I'm not working at the moment and I'm jobless. But I try myself to do all I can to have a life worth spending. It's like air. All our days are used up to slog and find money. But is it worth it, going to school and then go picnicking. But so far as I remember, there isn't a single time that I've regretted without the feeling of satisfaction in my brow. We have all forgotten. But never forsaken.

How is my life like in the kampong? Well, I enjoyed walking home from school everday and masticate at the wonders of nature. See how it flourish, and enjoy the wind at my face as the wind blow following the arch of the river. I enjoyed the rain that drench me sometimes in the evening when I didn't bring my umbrella. This had been my footstool to consider the joy of nature. And to respect it. My mother spent less on herself and more to us as a child so then when we grow up we will get educated. It is this hope that we see in the governance. But at the time being, what is there to offer when there is no job. There needs to be a cushion effect. We didn't live in slumbers or stilts. And there many fishes in the sea pointless to say. But because we have a community, that was what how we survived. We helped each other. And we needed to grow. But to the point of no growth this can be dangerous. That is why the economy needs a buffering system and I propose the need for sustainability and networking.

Yay, my mom's coming back soon. And hopefully we can celebrate again as a family. Because it is with family that we find happiness not gold that we can't eat. But to see a privilege that is in unity and respect and simple adoration of nature that was once taught by my friend. A simple exchange of gesture was the billingual thought of culture and the evolution of thyroid glands. So are we human, or are we dancers? That is the question. As a matter of fact, we find our roots and we will find trust. But put it simply, we are just humans.. The dance is not far different than the dancer. Eloquently said.. Ok!