Monday, September 28, 2009


People say it's the longest living river in Sabah. Stretching far to 560 km, it snakes across different forms of vegetation and bathes the topography from rocky hills to the flat mud plains of Kinabatangan. I, for once, would like to call it the fragrant river.

It occurred to me how travelling by boat felt like flying. As the soft breeze sweeps you across the face, your adrenaline pitched high with the speed, the smooth acceleration aloft the chasm body of water and the mirror of puffy clouds beneath, give a tale that you're no different from the birds of the Borneon sky.

The sweet taste of figs tantalizing to the nostril is yet a tempting manner for in contrast to its' smell, it is not palatable neither to humans nor animals. Hence the name. This image is what Kinabatangan conjures. Almost everything is such a contradiction to the other. The degree of uniqueness is at its peak here in Kinabatangan.

We're entering into the domain of wild orangutans, man of the forests as defined by the word or the red ape to others. The orangutan is the only great ape in Asia with two adjacent cousins, the gorillas and chimps in Africa. Sabah, Borneo is fortunate enough to harbour these marvelous creatures. Orangutans are only confined to two countries, both Malaysia and Indonesia respectively. Far from what people think, orangutans are not found uniformly throughout the country. Restricted to certain areas, orangutans are deprived from pristine lush forests. Thereby, unsuprisingly, could also be found in degraded forests such as those in the Kinabatangan region.

What attraction drew me to this forest creature? It's the same question that I ask myself everyday. There isn't any definite answer that I can simply put it down in words. Maybe it's because they share the uncanny resemblance to us humans. Some had argued how similar we are to them in relative to other great apes in terms of behaviour, physical form and social relationship.

Orangutans are sexually dimorphic, long-lived and the most solitary of great apes as Birute Galdikas put it. What better reason than this can we say as we speak of ourselves.

Maybe it's also because of that intrinsic value they hold, although some would prefer to call it economically beneficial. There's no doubt that orangutans are the golden goose for the proliferating tourism industry. Everybody wants to see cute cuddly orangutans. Why? Because they're ENDANGERED, labelled as potential candidate to extinction and the fact that they are cute. But is that all?

What is the value of one species gone entirely from the face of the earth? Is it measurable in our materialistic language of ringgits, dollars, pounds etc? Once gone, it's gone forever. Well except for the coelacanth and other species like it that have thought to be long-gone. But what is the probability of this chance, one in a thousand, one in a million?

The only rendezvous we have with these long-gone creatures is a cold memoir of dead species carved in tombstone near Brooklyn, New York. Plus, children's story books.

Ask any tourists why they come travelling to Kinabatangan, you'd be struck dumbfounded to hear their answers, "people tell us to better come here before it's too late". Eerie feedback, but true.

I recall a story once told by a good friend of mine. He used to work as a logger before making a head start into conservation. You'd be surprised how bulldozers can work wonders with the forest landscape. Within minutes, trees that took years and hundreds of years to develop would be squashed down to the ground, flat.

Going through his daily routine, he continues to pull down logs until he came to one last standing tree. Huddled close between the foliage of leaves, was a mother and a baby orangutan. One thing about orangutans is that they don't flee away as logging operation takes place. Hoping to stay camouflaged and undetectable, they remain quiet and still. As the last tree falls, so do the orangutans.

The mother dead, with the infant still tugging her arm.... Unbearable with this sight, my friend made it quits to logging and ventured into Kinabatangan Orang-utan conservation Project, an initiative of a French NGO Hutan. What becomes of the baby orangutan? Perhaps wanting to sell it in the pet trade, the loggers took it away and tied it down with cables like a dangerous animal. The sharp wire etching into the flesh bit by bit drew the last breath of the baby orangutan. A bit the same story as elsewhere.

I have been wondering to myself, are the orangutans able to think or feel as we do? If perhaps the answer's yes, then do they qualify the same status as we humans oblige, an ethical recognition in a sense.

A philosopher once noted that this question is not the matter of thinking or feeling capability but to their ability to suffer. Not the extremity degree of suffering but the ability to feel pain. This is what all beings share in similarity.

I'm currently studying the orangutans which I hope, could better help me understand their behaviour. And also, with the hope that I could personally see the empathy in them just as how one looks a kerbau in the eye, or even other creatures big and small. It's more like a personal thing which could only help me satisfy. But again, which I hope I could share with others.

Kerbau = water buffalo

A Visit to Sukau


In the sweep of an eye, a storm stork glides across the sky, few dozens pigeons roost nearby, like tiny sparks off the sunset and just ahead of us a heard of massive elephants charmed us with their social display. From a distance, loud bellowing calls of the proboscis monkeys can be heard. We sat completely still in our wooden boat, masticating all the wonders that nature has to offer. Abang Man, one of the 5 field assistants in the botanical team, noted that we were quite lucky to have seen them on our first day of visit. Indeed it was a rare and spectacular sight to behold! To me, it was a captivating display of affection, a welcoming gesture to Kinabatangan Wildlife Sanctuary.

It was a bumpy ride to Sukau and it took us altogether around 7 to 8 hours of journey. Upon reaching KOCP (Kinabatangan Orang-Utan Conservation Project) station, Hassan, also a botanist, made a friendly remark by saying "I thought you guys were plantation workers coming!" glancing at the old rackety pickup we rode. Isabelle, the director of KOCP led us to her cozy home. Little did we know that our one-month stay would lead us to the road of discoveries and acquisition.

Waking up at 5.30 in the morning was a bit hard for us at first, but it was something to look forward to. I guess one thing that made our trip memorable was the immense equanimity you get here. Think of Sukau and what image conjures? Our stay gave us a tiny peek to that question. Apart from being a sanctuary, one picture that simply define the Kinabatangan region is the idyllic setting it gives, particularly during the cruise down the mighty river. The Kinabatangan river, stretching to 560 km in length, sets a juxtapose to its guests; being wild and serene at the same time.

Everything seems silently still in the morning except for the humming of the boat propeller. From afar, beyond the horizon of the river, the sun sat majestically on his throne, painting the sky with a pale opalescent crimson. The thud of the craft anchored at the river bank draws us back to consciousness. Then, not far ahead, appear a refuge - a refuge in every sense of the word. We sat foot to the home of the red apes. It's very important to be in the study site before they wake up. Through experience, we came to know how tiring it is to search for lost orang-utans. It's a strenuous job to do: trudging in knee deep mud then hiking up hills with long heavy boots - a daily routine. The greatest reward one can gain at the end of it all, is the personal satisfaction to have a glimpse of that remarkable creature Isabelle and her allies are fighting to save. The sight of Jenny embracing Etin in her arms simply gave a profound feeling on the beholders. That alone, is enough to convince that they have atavistic feelings just as we humans do. Hugues, a visiting friend of Isabelle's correlates a belief that the French have on orang-utans. They believe that the red apes were once humans which went to live in the forest to escape the jostling and disturbing way of life. To me, that summed up the reason why the six of us decided to come here in the first place.

Being the largest district in Sabah, Kinabatangan comprises 288 sq. km stretch of land whereby 70% of it, like other places in Sabah, has been dictated to oil palm plantations, as Wildlife Ranger Syedy Sunjin put it. Most of the forests are extremely degraded. But it is these fragmented forests that many endangered wild creatures and their generations depend their survival upon; thus, giving more the reason why intensive measures are needed to protect it. According to Isabelle's study, the density of orang-utans in her 4-5 sq. km study site is much higher, 3-5 individuals per sq. km compared to undisturbed habitats which is 0.5 - 2 individuals per sq. km. Her findings discredit the idea that orang-utans are only confined to primary forests. Apart from that, the Kinabatangan region is also special in the sense that it is home to 10 primate species. Fresh water sharks and rays have recently been discovered here. No other part of the world bear such uniqueness. The last species of water shark in China has been extinct 120 years ago.

We were trekking for wild elephants when William Joseph, a WWF employee goes by saying that the forest is like a big, compendious book. It congregates all tiny fabric which create the very beautiful tapestry of life. We are sincerely indebted to Dr. Isabelle Lackman Ancrenaz, Dr. Marc Ancrenaz and all friends whom had given us an opportunity to have a look on that fascinating book, an intriguing adventure that gave us a deep comprehension to the vast marvelous richness of nature, hence life.

Monday, September 7, 2009

AM I BAD?

So I smoke, am I bad?
I wear bearing outfits, am I a slut?
I speak the truth, can it be accepted?
I act dumb, am I stupid?
I follow my heart, am I a fool?

See the churchgoers, bowing their heads in solemn,
Knees bent, hands clasped together, are they holy?

See those men, don't drink neither do they smoke, no criminal records, are they clean?

What's in the mind?
What's in the soul?
What's in the heart?
No one knows. 

What is wrong, what is right? Does anyone know? Are you God?

Who are you to judge me?
Are you God?

I do what I FEEL is good. My heart speaks to me.
When love occupies the heart, so does God. 
For God is love. So tell me, do I listen to God or you?

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Disturbed

In the midst of people I knew,
Where do I belong,
Am I unique,
Always judged,
Always criticised,
Somehow I feel I'm different,
Am I blessed?

I'm in a journey,
Seeking of who I am, 
Thinking, pondering, contemplating,
The journey of the soul.

Poetry my song,
Loneliness my friend,
No being can understand,
No one can comfort me.

As the wind swept across my cheeks,
Shrouding me comfort,
Drifts away my sadness,
Bringing me music of the birds,
Wipes away my tears. 

I cast my eyes at the ocean,
Wondered the beauty of nature,
When is it my turn,
To go for that walk,
To search my soul,
Where do I belong? 

MOON

In the midst of a crowd of people, 
I stood alone, 
Everybody passing, everybody rushing,
I stood still alone,
Is this the world we live in, 
Or is this the world we reflect upon?

I long to be free,
Free from all anxiety,
Free from unreality,
Free from dishonesty.

I long to be in the woods,
With the archaic trees that stood,
And sway away with the stream,
Just a place for me to lean,
To let go of this pain I feel,
This emptiness I long to fill.

Where can I run,
Where do I belong,
Run towards the sun,
I can only dream on.

Only the wind, only the light,
Only the birds, only the earth,
That give me might in my plight,
In search of truth till the time is right.

I gazed at the starling stars,
I contemplate on that lonely moon, 
So cut off from the world,
So lost...

The hills, the vermillion coloured sky, the endless
ocean, the carpets of forest, the quiet canyon,
the universe...
give sense to life.

Instinct

Everybody wants to be in control, to impress people in order to progress and go further with their career. Along the process, they set themselves apart from the world. Tribal people are always at peace in the sense they are a part of the world. They fight, yes, but never go on war. They only do because we taught them to. They just take what's enough and leave a balance. There's one way of being a part of the world again. Not to leave development and return to the primitive state but simply to abandon one thing and that is dominance. Is there anyone willing to give up power and control? Everybody wants to be God. That's the greed that humans have since ancient times. (12.03.2001)

Mattias Klum

12.03.2001 He destroyed my zest for life. The colourful world looks so bleak. The dark clouds overshadow it and I can't find my path. I walk around so aimlessly as I bumped against things in the dark and got black and blue. Like a feather, I drift with the wind. When will I touch the ground and free myself from this illusion? I stand in the cross-road again, hard to decide where to go. I search for answer but in vain, when inside I feel so damn sore. 

As the sky drew darker, the road gets narrower. Still not know where to go o' poignant little wanderer. Kept on walking, kept on breathing. For what reason, you don't know. Only hope that someday, the light will shine your way. 

Mattias Klum: If I don't know that a bronze-coloured lizard lives behind the root over there, or that strange rumbling sound from the crowns of the trees comes from the wing strokes of hornbills, if I did not notice the scratches of the civet cat's claws on the bark of the fig, would the forest then be empty and deserted? This is not a world for those who must be fed with sensational encounters with big animals. It is a world that provides marvelous meetings with small things.