Trip to Danum

20th December 2001 (9.56 pm)
Danum Valley Field Centre
It was about 6.30pm and I was standing just outside the male hostel as I draw my eyes to the view in front of me. I almost cried by my absolute adoration to the beauty I see. I saw beauty in creation. It was a blue hue of picture. Tall emergent trees stood in silhouettes and the Columbus cloud drifted blown by the wind. This fragment picture reminds me that beauty exists in life – the tapestry of life.

This trip to Danum is a special one. Although I came in as a group, I am certain that I will leave as one. Probably my mind is set in the mood that despite the crowdy surrounding, I’m making this journey on my own.

Wanting to prove something, wanting to be accepted or to be liked is an illusion on itself. Having something to cling on, brings vexation. The feeling of trying and trying so hard to grasp hold of something lest you might lose it. The answer is simple really but it takes great courage to just let go. I don’t think I have that courage yet. Insecure is what we get in trying to reach security.

I enjoyed the conversation I had with Isa. For the first time, I feel like I was telling my own story and that I was able to be myself.
I told her about my feelings about my future. My worries about where to work after all of this. Things are very complicated than once thought. I seem to understand all these happenings, but I still maintain that naïve look of a child. Perhaps I can’t be what I am expected to be, somebody with a strong character and that has control or power. I still maintain that my way will shine through. Although perspectively, being stringent or hard is not wrong, why do feel that it is. I’ve always wanted to do something different, in a less conventional way. Just like when I decided to spent 3-years of university life at home rather than staying at the hostel. But I realize now, that I should’ve chosen the latter. Life would be more easier. I will have more fun hanging out with my friends, going out often and plus copy assignments and free-access to class notes.

Inspite of this, I feel a small tinge of proudness of being able to have gone through this ordeal all by myself with less deceit.

Today, we went for the nature trail with Dato as our guide and he told us something about the trees. Alex gave a short talk concerning DVFC. Tomorrow, we’ll have a bird watching session, have breakfast and then at 8 am, depart for our 3 km walk to Tembeling waterfall. They estimate the walk to be 2 hours. At 2.30pm, take a visit to FACE and night safari after that. The next day, watch the sunset and then, walk to the place wjere we can see ancient coffins age 200-300 years old made from Belian.

Took us 30 minute to reach the junction to Sukau from Isa’s house, another hour to reach the town of Lahad Datu around 10-15 minutes to the junction to Danum and less than 2 hours to reach DVFC.